117. Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man - Steve Harvey

As much as my mom and I loved Steve Harvey's last book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, (she still quotes from it like it's the Bible!), I pre-ordered this book on Amazon as soon as I heard about it. I should have known that the second is never as good as the first.

The main crux of this book is to explain what motivates men - and how women can use that to get more of what they need from relationships. In my opinion, one of the better chapters was on how to minimize nagging (something that, according to my boyfriend, I could use some help with!). Something as simple as a man saying he'll do the dishes can turn into a huge argument if his woman goes into the kitchen at 10 p.m. and sees that they're not done. A lot of women would blow up - which, of course, would ruin the mood for everyone. But Harvey gives advice on how to talk to a man in a way that moves him to action - and keeps the peace. Although sometimes commonsensical, Harvey gives some advice that's good to remember: adjust your tone, let your man get to what needs to be done in his own time, choose your bottles, understand what's a priority for men, and don't take over the task - especially with an attitude.

There was also a great chapter on how showing some gratitude can go a long way. "[M]en and women are both expert on taking each other for granted. We treat the everyday efforts we make on behalf of each other as commonplace - something as unnoticeable as our own heartbeats. But just like we praise God for waking us up every morning with the blood still pumping though our veins, we could stand to look our partners in the eyes and say, 'thank you for all that you do.'" SO true!

Harvey also discusses other topics: how women need to get over the whole "men are intimidated by me because I'm successful" thing (it's more because if a woman keeps saying that she has everything and doesn't need a man - then she probably doesn't); and how if you're single and looking, "presentation is everything" (don't write it off: he makes good points).

The reason I don't rave about this book is that it seems that Harvey was just trying to publish another book while he is still hot, knowing that women (like me) who loved the first one would run to buy the second one. However, he didn't say much of anything new. It wasn't a waste of time to read it - but it was probably a waste of money to have bought it.

116. Love Your Life: Living Happy, Healthy, and Whole - Victoria Osteen

I'm a huge fan of Joel Osteen, so I figured I'd be willing to give his wife's book a shot. While it wasn't a complete waste of time or money, I have to be honest and say that Victoria definitely didn't discuss anything new or groundbreaking. This was a pretty run-of-the-mill "self-help" book for women from a Christian perspective. She gives a lot of general advice about things like well-balanced relationships, gaining confidence, and keeping the right perspective on life through various anecdotes and stories from the Bible.

I have to admit that there were a few stories that really touched me. In the chapter about living with confidence, Victoria tells the story about Miss USA competing in the Miss Universe pageant in 2007. During the evening gown competition, she fell on her "backside" in front of the entire ... well, universe! But she got right back up and finished her walk. During the final phase of the competition, a judge asked her: "If you could relive any moment in your life, what moment would you relive?" How many of us would have immediately said something like, "I'd like to relive my life about ten minutes ago in a different pair of heels?" So many times we want to relive our mistakes or our embarrassing moments. But Miss USA talked about reliving the time that she worked with orphans in South Africa. She chose instead to focus on her strengths and relive those instead of focusing on her weaknesses. What a great lesson!

Victoria also gives some great lessons about having patience and communicating well in relationships. One part that really stuck with me is when she said, "Our relationships are precious, valuable treasures from heaven, and we should handle them carefully, always looking for ways to build bridges to each other's hearts. It is so important that we choose to focus on the long-term effects of our decisions instead of the gratification of the moment."

Although this was a decent book, I think the only reason it was a New York Times Bestseller was because of the name recognition from her husband. I wouldn't recommend that anyone put it on their must-read list.

115. Call Me Ted - Ted Turner

It's impossible to live in Atlanta and not see the influence that Ted Turner has had over the city ... Turner Field; CNN Studios; Atlanta Braves; Atlanta Hawks. What I didn't understand is the influence that he has had over the media industry, the nation, and the world.

Turner is a man who is part narcissistic; part humanitarian; and completely fascinating. Even though he never finished college, his intelligence and experiences with his dad's billboard business led him to become one of the wealthiest men in the world. In his book, he shares stories of his tyrannical father who sent him off to boarding school at age four; his passion for sailing; his difficulty in maintaining his marriages, including his most recent marriage to Jane Fonda; and his insane idea to start a 24-hour news service (read my review of CNN: The Inside Story to learn more!).

This is a book worth reading on so many levels. The maneuvering of Turner Broadcasting taught me a lot about business. Apparently, after Turner Broadcasting merged with Time Warner, someone had the idea to merge with AOL during the dot com boom. By that point, Ted Turner was no longer on the Board of Directors - so he essentially wasn't running his own company anymore. AOL's stock was completely overvalued, so after the merger Turner ended up losing millions of dollars from the deal. The book also talks about the difficulties in starting CNN taught me about the media industry. I even learned more about the United Nations (who knew that he donated $1 billion to the United Nations Foundation?!).

The last paragraph in this book was so powerful:

I've often considered and joked about what I might want written on my tombstone. At one point, when I felt like I couldn't get out of the way of the press, "You can't interview me here" was a leading candidate. In the middle of my career, I considered, "Here lies Ted Turner. He never owned a broadcast network." These days, I'm leading toward "I have nothing more to say."

Ted Turner has his faults, but he is truly an amazing man. I can't recommend this book more highly.

114. CNN: The Inside Story - Hank Whittemore

The fact that I read this book - about the history of CNN - proves that I'm a CNN addict! (I found it at a used bookstore in Marietta for 50 cents. It was written in 1990 ... but hey, history doesn't change!).

Most people know that Ted Turner started CNN, but they don't know all that he was up against when he did it. He had already done really well for himself after he took over his father's billboard business by investing in radio and TV stations. He got the idea in the 1970's to start a 24-hour cable TV station (back when cable TV was still pretty new) ... and absolutely everyone told him he was crazy. The "three networks" (CBS, NBC, ABC) each had yearly budgets of about $100-150 million, and CNN had a projected budget for its first year of $30 million.

The stories about how CNN got up and running were great - and the anecdotes about Turner were even better. The man is crazy - CNN wasn't even profitable yet, and he started CNN2 (now HLN) to cover all bases to exclude his competition (CNN had a one-hour news cycle - he wanted one with a 30-minute news cycle). And he definitely wasn't afraid of suing people to get what he wanted! But honestly, he's an entrepreneurial genius ... and that's why he is where he is now (I work near the CNN headquarters, Turner Broadcasting, and Turner Field ... you get the point). That's why I've decided to read his autobiography next ... honestly, this book was a bit hard to get through. The author sometimes told the same stories from several different points of view, which got a bit long. So while the stories about Turner and many of the stories about how CNN finally got off the ground were great, I think Turner's autobiography might be better than this book.

113. The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Without a doubt, this book has jumped to the number one spot of my "best fiction books" list. My blog followers know that I hate reading books that are more than 400 pages long - but I couldn't put this 458-pager down. It was worth every page!

The story follows black maids and the white families they work for in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960's. It's told from the perspective of three different women. Skeeter Phelan is a white, college-educated woman who wants to be a writer, but her mother won't be happy until Skeeter's frizzy hair is tamed, she keeps lipstick on, and she finds a husband. Aibileen (my favorite) is the maid for the family of Skeeter's friend, Elizabeth Leefolt. Aibileen is an amazing and brave woman who has raised seventeen white children, but who still feels pain over the loss of her own son several years ago. Minny is Aibileen's best friend, and has a mouth on her that's gotten her fired from almost twenty different jobs. But she can cook better than anyone, so with some finagling from Aibileen, she manages to land a job working for Miss Celia - a busty blond who "wears more goo on her face than a hooker" and who the other white women in Jackson can't stand.

When Skeeter has a shot at writing a book that could get in front of the eyes of a New York editor, she decides to write anonymously about the experiences of black maids in Jackson. After the difficulty of convincing these black women with families to share their stories with an inexperienced white woman during the tumultuous '60's, Skeeter hears stories of the pain behind them being forced by their employers to use separate bathrooms - usually, out in the garage - because of "Negro diseases" and the white children they raise who call them "mama" and then grow up ordering them around and accuse them of stealing. The maids risk a lot to come together and share their stories with Skeeter, who has her own problems with her friends in the Junior League finding out what she's doing and accusing her of being an integrationist, her ailing mother, and her relationship with the son of a prominent state senator.

The dialect in which most of the book is written; the depth of the characters; the detail with which Stockett writes ... when I was at work for the past few days, all I wanted to do was run home and read this book! I couldn't recommend anything any more highly. I know this book came out last year, but Stockett lives in Atlanta and so I hope she makes a stop for a reading/signing at a local Borders; and it's already being made into a movie, so I will be first in line for tickets when it comes out!!

112. Addicted - Zane

This was definitely the most disturbing book I've read in a while.
I've been hearing about the infamous Zane for years, and after going the slightly more edgy route with A Reliable Wife, I decided to give her a try.

The main character, Zoe, is a beautiful woman with the perfect life: perfect husband, children, and job. But the one thing she's missing is sexual satisfaction. Her husband, Jason, is unwilling to do more than two minutes of missionary style sex. Despite her attempts to get him to try new things and to communicate her dissatisfaction with him, Jason won't budge.

And here begins Zoe's affairs. Zoe ultimately has three affairs going on at the same time, all while she's still married to Jason. My faithful blog readers know that I usually share passages that jump out to me, but I can't even go there with this book. My mom might read this! I had heard about Zane's infamous sex scenes, but those scenes along with the anger, violence, and flat out dysfunctional people actually gave me nightmares for two nights. This book was extremely graphic (note: my best friend tells me I'm "soft," so take from that what you will). But I have to admit, the book is incredibly suspenseful - the foreshadowing is great and there are new twists and turns in every chapter. It took me a while to stop being irritated by Zane's writing style (I'm not used to a narrator saying things like "I wish that nucca would" and "Lawd only knows," but hey, I'm open) - but once I did, it was an easy read.

I'd be willing to try another Zane book down the road - but I'd need a recommendation of one that's not so violent and traumatizing.

111. Come on People: On the Path from Victims to Victors - Bill Cosby and Alvin F. Poussaint, M.D.

Come on People is based on the theme of Cosby's popular "call out" sessions where he has drawn attention to the crises among the black community in America and where he has challenged African Americans to restore their families and communities. In this book, Cosby and Poussaint give a very in-depth analysis of issues like violence, drugs, lack of education obesity, poverty, and broken families. From the chapter about violence:

Low self-esteem can cause a kid to do things that are physically and mentally self-destructive. These are lost, mixed-up youths. Kids who are depressed, angry, or suffering from mental illnesses need to get counseling. They may cry out in desperation, but they do not know how to ask for help and too often reject it when it is offered. They'd rather kill to gain a modicum of self-respect than come in from the cold.

The book is written as more of a guide than as just complaints about the state of black America. Cosby and Poussaint encourage readers to be actively involved in the education and upbringing of their children; to stay out of credit card debt; to listen to music that uplifts rather than degrades; and to take their neighborhoods back from drug dealers. In the chapter about going from poverty to prosperity, the authors encourage readers to find legitimate jobs.

Parents and caregivers, have you heard a kid say, "Well I can either flip burgers or go out here and make some real money selling drugs" ? When you hear that, do you stop that child and say, "Wait a minute, fool. You don't flip burgers for the rest of your life. You flip them to become the manager of that place. You flip burgers to move from manager to owner of the damn franchise" ?

While I appreciate the valuable suggestions on ways to overcome these hardships, it was very obvious to me while reading this book that the people who need it most would likely (sadly) not be reading. The authors tell parents to stop using the television to babysit their children; they also tell mothers whose children might admit that they are being fondled by an adult not to allow it to continue just because that adult might be helping with rent or bills. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but would the mother who sits her kids in front of the TV and who allows her boyfriend who's paying the rent to fondler her daughter really be sitting down to read this book? I hope that it is able to reach the academics, sociologists, clergy, and teachers ... and also the target audience that really needs it.