117. Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man - Steve Harvey

As much as my mom and I loved Steve Harvey's last book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, (she still quotes from it like it's the Bible!), I pre-ordered this book on Amazon as soon as I heard about it. I should have known that the second is never as good as the first.

The main crux of this book is to explain what motivates men - and how women can use that to get more of what they need from relationships. In my opinion, one of the better chapters was on how to minimize nagging (something that, according to my boyfriend, I could use some help with!). Something as simple as a man saying he'll do the dishes can turn into a huge argument if his woman goes into the kitchen at 10 p.m. and sees that they're not done. A lot of women would blow up - which, of course, would ruin the mood for everyone. But Harvey gives advice on how to talk to a man in a way that moves him to action - and keeps the peace. Although sometimes commonsensical, Harvey gives some advice that's good to remember: adjust your tone, let your man get to what needs to be done in his own time, choose your bottles, understand what's a priority for men, and don't take over the task - especially with an attitude.

There was also a great chapter on how showing some gratitude can go a long way. "[M]en and women are both expert on taking each other for granted. We treat the everyday efforts we make on behalf of each other as commonplace - something as unnoticeable as our own heartbeats. But just like we praise God for waking us up every morning with the blood still pumping though our veins, we could stand to look our partners in the eyes and say, 'thank you for all that you do.'" SO true!

Harvey also discusses other topics: how women need to get over the whole "men are intimidated by me because I'm successful" thing (it's more because if a woman keeps saying that she has everything and doesn't need a man - then she probably doesn't); and how if you're single and looking, "presentation is everything" (don't write it off: he makes good points).

The reason I don't rave about this book is that it seems that Harvey was just trying to publish another book while he is still hot, knowing that women (like me) who loved the first one would run to buy the second one. However, he didn't say much of anything new. It wasn't a waste of time to read it - but it was probably a waste of money to have bought it.