117. Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man - Steve Harvey

As much as my mom and I loved Steve Harvey's last book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, (she still quotes from it like it's the Bible!), I pre-ordered this book on Amazon as soon as I heard about it. I should have known that the second is never as good as the first.

The main crux of this book is to explain what motivates men - and how women can use that to get more of what they need from relationships. In my opinion, one of the better chapters was on how to minimize nagging (something that, according to my boyfriend, I could use some help with!). Something as simple as a man saying he'll do the dishes can turn into a huge argument if his woman goes into the kitchen at 10 p.m. and sees that they're not done. A lot of women would blow up - which, of course, would ruin the mood for everyone. But Harvey gives advice on how to talk to a man in a way that moves him to action - and keeps the peace. Although sometimes commonsensical, Harvey gives some advice that's good to remember: adjust your tone, let your man get to what needs to be done in his own time, choose your bottles, understand what's a priority for men, and don't take over the task - especially with an attitude.

There was also a great chapter on how showing some gratitude can go a long way. "[M]en and women are both expert on taking each other for granted. We treat the everyday efforts we make on behalf of each other as commonplace - something as unnoticeable as our own heartbeats. But just like we praise God for waking us up every morning with the blood still pumping though our veins, we could stand to look our partners in the eyes and say, 'thank you for all that you do.'" SO true!

Harvey also discusses other topics: how women need to get over the whole "men are intimidated by me because I'm successful" thing (it's more because if a woman keeps saying that she has everything and doesn't need a man - then she probably doesn't); and how if you're single and looking, "presentation is everything" (don't write it off: he makes good points).

The reason I don't rave about this book is that it seems that Harvey was just trying to publish another book while he is still hot, knowing that women (like me) who loved the first one would run to buy the second one. However, he didn't say much of anything new. It wasn't a waste of time to read it - but it was probably a waste of money to have bought it.

116. Love Your Life: Living Happy, Healthy, and Whole - Victoria Osteen

I'm a huge fan of Joel Osteen, so I figured I'd be willing to give his wife's book a shot. While it wasn't a complete waste of time or money, I have to be honest and say that Victoria definitely didn't discuss anything new or groundbreaking. This was a pretty run-of-the-mill "self-help" book for women from a Christian perspective. She gives a lot of general advice about things like well-balanced relationships, gaining confidence, and keeping the right perspective on life through various anecdotes and stories from the Bible.

I have to admit that there were a few stories that really touched me. In the chapter about living with confidence, Victoria tells the story about Miss USA competing in the Miss Universe pageant in 2007. During the evening gown competition, she fell on her "backside" in front of the entire ... well, universe! But she got right back up and finished her walk. During the final phase of the competition, a judge asked her: "If you could relive any moment in your life, what moment would you relive?" How many of us would have immediately said something like, "I'd like to relive my life about ten minutes ago in a different pair of heels?" So many times we want to relive our mistakes or our embarrassing moments. But Miss USA talked about reliving the time that she worked with orphans in South Africa. She chose instead to focus on her strengths and relive those instead of focusing on her weaknesses. What a great lesson!

Victoria also gives some great lessons about having patience and communicating well in relationships. One part that really stuck with me is when she said, "Our relationships are precious, valuable treasures from heaven, and we should handle them carefully, always looking for ways to build bridges to each other's hearts. It is so important that we choose to focus on the long-term effects of our decisions instead of the gratification of the moment."

Although this was a decent book, I think the only reason it was a New York Times Bestseller was because of the name recognition from her husband. I wouldn't recommend that anyone put it on their must-read list.