52. The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships - Hill Harper

I was a bit apprehensive before reading this book. "Hill Harper is single - so what gives him the authority to write this?" But he in no way comes off as a know-it-all about relationships. Really, he comes off as part of "the conversation," too - learning along with his readers.

The premise behind this book is that the lack of communication between black men and women is threatening the relationships that are necessary to sustain the black family. Harper discusses a wide range of issues - finances, sex, what men want, what women want, interracial relationships, etc. - in his analysis of why only 30% of black children are being raised in two-parent households and why not enough black couples are able to hold a marriage together.

This books has elements of advice (some parts reminded me of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, but ... well, more Hill Harper and less Steve Harvey) and stories about Harper's own life ... but it's unique in the way Harper intertwines lessons that he's learned from conversations with people in his life (married/single/divorced).

Here's one part that I found particularly interesting in a passage about how finances often cause the most arguments in relationships:

"As a group, Blacks are the largest debtors in the world. Living with debt hanging over out heads causes stress. That stress affects our moods, our quality of life, and our ability to connect with others ... We as a people have indebtgestion even though we are earning more money than we ever have before. Part of the problem is that we are running through our credit at alarming rates, and the resulting debt is affecting our relationships. This indebtgestion may be the true cause of why the Black family is ill."

This was a wonderful book; to my knowledge, his first that is geared towards adults.