23. Never Make the Same Mistake Twice - Nene Leakes

Yes ... Nene Leakes. As in, Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know, I know - I was wary, too. The title didn't grab me by the throat ... and do you really need the quote on the back from Anderson Cooper that she's his "favorite housewife"?
But you know what? ... it was actually a great book!

There apparently is a lot more to Nene than what's on Bravo. As Jihan pointed out about Sheree (and why we dislike her so much on the show) - the editors of the show probably follow those women around for weeks - months? - and they are the ones who choose what we see or don't see. We all know about Nene's drama with finding out that Curtis wasn't really her father ... but did you know that her mom remarried while Nene was still young, and treated her and her husband's kids (Nene's stepdad) as her "real" kids and pretty much abandoned Nene and her brother? Or that Nene really was a stripper at a big Atlanta strip club ... and the juicy stories that go along with that? Or what Nene really thinks of Sheree and Kim?? (there's a whole chapter devoted to each!)

So, you ask ... does Nene think she's ghetto?

"People say I'm hood and ghetto and I'll take that because I do know how to get hood. I didn't grow up in any financially depressed household. Though my aunt and uncle weren't rich, we sure didn't want for anything and so I can't and won't claim the ghetto. But I do have ghetto tendencies. I know how to hold a meeting down and be professional, but if I'm riding in the car and I happen to be eating some chicken, I might just toss the bone out the window. [HA!] ... you might catch me getting a little loud and wrong while I'm drinking from a straw. I tend to slurp a little bit."

How can you not love that?! Another glimpse:

"...while what you saw of me on Real Housewives is real, it's only part of me that's real. It's my story, but it's not my complete story. There are many other facets to me. The truth of the matter is that drama sells. No matter how much people claimed they were embarrassed by my in-your-face personality, they love to hear about my drama. Big time. Nobody wants to see me going out and starting businesses, or having lunch with my kids, or cleaning the bathroom and cooking dinner. But I do these things. And anyone who says she cares to read about me doing those things is lying. Celebrities with no drama get no play and they don't last. Period.
I understand the game and I have no regrets about being on the show and how I was portrayed. Not one."

Interesting that the woman who co-authored this book with Nene is the same woman who co-authored Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man with Steve Harvey. There were some parts of the book that were a bit redundant ... but because it exceeded my expectations, I'd give it a generous four stars out of five. But wait for the paperback.

22. 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace - Dr. Wayne Dyer

You can never go wrong with Dr. Dyer! Although Borders always classifies these books as "self-help," I'm not a fan of that term. It sounds like something is wrong with you for going to that section - like you need "help." I prefer "self-improvement," or something of the sort.
Anyway, this book talks about ten great principles for "improving" your life. Instead of listing all of them, I'll just highlight my favorite three:

There are no justified resentments. Dr. Dyer is so right when he says that "anytime you're filled with resentment, you're turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate." It takes so much more energy to be angry at people - it burdens your soul even more than you probably realize. "At the root of virtually all spiritual practices is the notion of forgiveness. This was what came out of Jesus of Nazareth while he was being tortured on a cross by a Roman soldier throwing a spear into his side. It is perhaps the most healing thing that you can do to remove the low energies of revenge and resentment from your life completely." Even though many of us try to justify why we are angry at others for what they have done to us - it ends up causing us more harm. "Resentment is like venom that continues to pour through your system, doing its poisonous damage long after being bitten by the snake. It's not the bite that kills you; it's the venom. You can remove venom by making a decision to let go of resentments."
It's a tough lesson - but one that is so true.

Treat yourself as if you already are what you'd like to be. This principle helps to keep you inspired; and that inspiration (from the words "in" and "spirit") is what guides us to work for what we want out of life. "When you become inspired and act as if what you want is already here, you'll activate those dormant forces that will collaborate to make this your reality."
I also love what he says about synchronicity and inspiration - "There are no coincidences. Anything that coincides is said to fit together powerfully ... You'll think about a particular person and that individual will 'mysteriously' appear ... these so-called mysteries will soon be viewed by you as part of the synchronicity of the universe working with you and your highly energized thoughts." I used to doubt this - until I started realizing that this is really the idea behind prayer. When we ask God to help us with something, we are sending energy to Him and toward that particular desire.

Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you. Dr. Dyer explains that shame is the thought that makes people the weakest, followed by guilt, apathy, fear, and anger. We can switch from these low-vibration thoughts to higher-vibration thoughts (like love and forgiveness) by asking God to help us - "You'll be surprised by how quickly that higher energy of love will nullify and dissolve your fearful thoughts and empower you at the same time."

Like The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, this is a wonderful book to go to when you are going through a difficult time and you need to look at something for spiritual guidance. It's also a great gift idea!

21. Cover Girls - T.D. Jakes

I know a lot of people who have raved about T.D. Jakes books, but maybe I need to give a different one a try. I think this was his first book ... so I'm willing to give him a break. This was a so-so fiction novel about the lives of four women - Michelle, Tonya, Mrs. Judson, and Miz Ida - and the ways in which their lives are intertwined and the lessons they learn from each other. Michelle has an abusive past and is going through a rough period of separation from her husband. She also works for Tonya and hates how Tonya meddles in her life and her "holier than thou" mentality. Mrs. Judson is Michelle and Tonya's supervisor and doesn't have much patience for either woman until a traumatic experience in her own life forces her to listen; and Miz Ida is the older, wise woman who keeps Michelle in line.
The experiences that each woman goes through are very real, and the women do seem to learn some valuable lessons. It was overall a good story; just not one that I would rave about. Maybe three stars out of five.

20. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - Tennessee Williams

This Pulitizer-Prize winning play is one of my favorites by Tennessee Williams. It's about an alcoholic former athlete named Brick, whose family has fathered for his father's ("Big Daddy") birthday party and to celebrate the news that Big Daddy is not really suffering from cancer, as was previously reported. But things go downhill when Maggie, Brick's wife, starts verbally attacking him over his alcoholism and his failure to get her pregnant, and Brick and Big Daddy have a confrontation when Big Daddy suspects that Brick is gay ... and when they find out that Big Daddy really does have cancer.
This is a great story that anyone with a family can likely relate to. Everyone in this story has their own issues but they all seem to have a lot of problems communicating about them. My favorite character was Maggie - I felt sorry for her, though I could see how annoying and nagging she was. I'd love to see this on stage.

19. Miracle at St. Anna - James McBride

I'm not a big one for war stories, but this was an enjoyable book. It's about soliders from the all-black 92nd "Buffalo Soldier" division who get trapped in a remote village in Italy during World War II when one of the soldiers tries to save a little Italian boy. They're dealing with German soliders on one side ... and racist and disorganized American officers on the other. [sidenote - one of the black soliders talks about when they were back in the U.S., and the German POWs were allowed to eat a restaurant ... and the black soldiers were forced to eat outside. Wow.]
The soliders are taken in by a group of Italians who are resisting the Nazis; they (the soliders) eventually make contact with their superior officers and are ordered to capture a Nazi solider so they can interrogate him on an upcoming attack. The plot was complicated for me to follow, but it was a good story. Maybe watching the movie will help me sort it out?

One beautiful scene:

"He felt the little hands pulling at his head, the innocent young eyes searching his face, and shame washed over him like water. A white person had never touched his face before. Never reached out and stroked him with love, and the force of it, the force of the child's innocence, trust, and purity drew tears to his eyes. He expected to feel nothing when the boy touched him, but instead he felt mercy, he felt humanity, he felt love, harmony, longing, thirst for kindness, yearnings for peace - qualities he'd never known existed in the white man. The boy ran his hand over Train's face and held the big man's nose. His innocent eyes searched Train's, and as their eyes locked, Train could see inside him and saw not derision, or fear, or loathing, but hurt and searching and pain from a thousand indignities."

18. Phenomenal Woman: A Collection of Poems Celebrating Women - Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou's poetry is always inspiring. This collection of her poetry has classics that celebrate women, including one of my favorites - "Phenomenal Woman" - as well as "Still I Rise," "Weekend Glory," and "Our Grandmothers." The words in these poems can inspire any woman, regardless of race or age. A great gift idea!

"Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
'Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me."

17. The Soul of a Butterfly: Reflections on Life's Journey - Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali continuously amazes me. This was a great book - it was a combination of an autobiography and a book about spirituality. It's structured almost like a scrapbook (with complete paragraphs, of course), and has subchapters with his reflections, poetry, anecdotes, and various quotes.
In this book, Ali talks about his life and the lessons he learned along the way. It was so touching when he apologized to Joe Frazier for the things he said about him before Thrilla in Manila; and to Malcolm X for turning his back on him when Malcolm X wanted to part ways from Elijah Muhammad. [sidenote: it's interesting that he didn't apologize to his second wife, Belinda Ali, for publicly humiliating her by carrying on his affair with Veronica Porsche and bringing her to the Philippines and introducing her as his wife ... ] Ali also talks about his refusal to report for the draft during Vietnam; his nine (yes, nine) children; and his decision to become Muslim.
I liked this quote:

"The key to peace of heart and mind is approaching life not with a determination to gain wealth and fame for comfort and glory in this life, but rather with a goal of realizing spiritual development. If you keep a positive mind and an optimistic outlook on life, negativity loses its power to make you unhappy. God's love is universal. He is with us always. Let Him guide you and you will never be lost."

No matter which path we choose to worship God, some lessons are truly universal.