118. The Next Big Story: My Journey Through The Land of Possibilities - Soledad O'Brien

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I'm a huge CNN junkie - so naturally I had to read the autobiography of one of my favorite anchors (I woke up to her on American Morning every morning when I was in law school). I also had to get it autographed when she was doing a book signing at the CNN Center!

Soledad (I can call her that - she told me when I met her :) ) shares her life story - from growing up in an all-white town in Long Island as the daughter of a white man from Australia and a black woman from Cuba - to her discovery of her true calling to become a journalist - to her amazing stories from working at CNN, including her Black in America and Latino in America documentaries.

One of the stories that stood on the most to me was when she was discussing with Rev. Jesse Jackson how CNN needed more black anchors. He started ranting and saying that there were no black anchors on the network at all. Soledad interrupts him to remind him that she's the anchor of American Morning (which he knew - he had been a guest on the show!). "He looks me in the eye and reaches his fingers over to tap a spot of skin on my right hand. He shakes his head. 'You don't count,' he says." Apparently she spoke to him later and found out that he honestly didn't know that she was black. Her point was poignant: "That is how precise the game of race is played in our country, that we are so easily reduced to our skin tone. That even someone as prominent in African-American society as Reverend Jackson has one box to check for black and one for white. No one gets to be in between."

Soledad's stories from New Orleans after Katrina and from Haiti after the earthquake brought tears to my eyes. I love one point she made about Haiti: "It is almost as if the Americans are responding to a disaster in this nearby foreign country as a way of making up for Katrina. The land is peopled up by another group of black folks crying out for help. There is something about this that feels a bit redemptive, like folks who just took matters into their own hands and collectively screamed: We care."

My only complaint is the writing style - I loved the writing styles of journalists like Malcolm Gladwell and Anderson Cooper, but I found her style to be a bit choppy.  But overall - a great book.  

113. The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Without a doubt, this book has jumped to the number one spot of my "best fiction books" list. My blog followers know that I hate reading books that are more than 400 pages long - but I couldn't put this 458-pager down. It was worth every page!

The story follows black maids and the white families they work for in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960's. It's told from the perspective of three different women. Skeeter Phelan is a white, college-educated woman who wants to be a writer, but her mother won't be happy until Skeeter's frizzy hair is tamed, she keeps lipstick on, and she finds a husband. Aibileen (my favorite) is the maid for the family of Skeeter's friend, Elizabeth Leefolt. Aibileen is an amazing and brave woman who has raised seventeen white children, but who still feels pain over the loss of her own son several years ago. Minny is Aibileen's best friend, and has a mouth on her that's gotten her fired from almost twenty different jobs. But she can cook better than anyone, so with some finagling from Aibileen, she manages to land a job working for Miss Celia - a busty blond who "wears more goo on her face than a hooker" and who the other white women in Jackson can't stand.

When Skeeter has a shot at writing a book that could get in front of the eyes of a New York editor, she decides to write anonymously about the experiences of black maids in Jackson. After the difficulty of convincing these black women with families to share their stories with an inexperienced white woman during the tumultuous '60's, Skeeter hears stories of the pain behind them being forced by their employers to use separate bathrooms - usually, out in the garage - because of "Negro diseases" and the white children they raise who call them "mama" and then grow up ordering them around and accuse them of stealing. The maids risk a lot to come together and share their stories with Skeeter, who has her own problems with her friends in the Junior League finding out what she's doing and accusing her of being an integrationist, her ailing mother, and her relationship with the son of a prominent state senator.

The dialect in which most of the book is written; the depth of the characters; the detail with which Stockett writes ... when I was at work for the past few days, all I wanted to do was run home and read this book! I couldn't recommend anything any more highly. I know this book came out last year, but Stockett lives in Atlanta and so I hope she makes a stop for a reading/signing at a local Borders; and it's already being made into a movie, so I will be first in line for tickets when it comes out!!

112. Addicted - Zane

This was definitely the most disturbing book I've read in a while.
I've been hearing about the infamous Zane for years, and after going the slightly more edgy route with A Reliable Wife, I decided to give her a try.

The main character, Zoe, is a beautiful woman with the perfect life: perfect husband, children, and job. But the one thing she's missing is sexual satisfaction. Her husband, Jason, is unwilling to do more than two minutes of missionary style sex. Despite her attempts to get him to try new things and to communicate her dissatisfaction with him, Jason won't budge.

And here begins Zoe's affairs. Zoe ultimately has three affairs going on at the same time, all while she's still married to Jason. My faithful blog readers know that I usually share passages that jump out to me, but I can't even go there with this book. My mom might read this! I had heard about Zane's infamous sex scenes, but those scenes along with the anger, violence, and flat out dysfunctional people actually gave me nightmares for two nights. This book was extremely graphic (note: my best friend tells me I'm "soft," so take from that what you will). But I have to admit, the book is incredibly suspenseful - the foreshadowing is great and there are new twists and turns in every chapter. It took me a while to stop being irritated by Zane's writing style (I'm not used to a narrator saying things like "I wish that nucca would" and "Lawd only knows," but hey, I'm open) - but once I did, it was an easy read.

I'd be willing to try another Zane book down the road - but I'd need a recommendation of one that's not so violent and traumatizing.

111. Come on People: On the Path from Victims to Victors - Bill Cosby and Alvin F. Poussaint, M.D.

Come on People is based on the theme of Cosby's popular "call out" sessions where he has drawn attention to the crises among the black community in America and where he has challenged African Americans to restore their families and communities. In this book, Cosby and Poussaint give a very in-depth analysis of issues like violence, drugs, lack of education obesity, poverty, and broken families. From the chapter about violence:

Low self-esteem can cause a kid to do things that are physically and mentally self-destructive. These are lost, mixed-up youths. Kids who are depressed, angry, or suffering from mental illnesses need to get counseling. They may cry out in desperation, but they do not know how to ask for help and too often reject it when it is offered. They'd rather kill to gain a modicum of self-respect than come in from the cold.

The book is written as more of a guide than as just complaints about the state of black America. Cosby and Poussaint encourage readers to be actively involved in the education and upbringing of their children; to stay out of credit card debt; to listen to music that uplifts rather than degrades; and to take their neighborhoods back from drug dealers. In the chapter about going from poverty to prosperity, the authors encourage readers to find legitimate jobs.

Parents and caregivers, have you heard a kid say, "Well I can either flip burgers or go out here and make some real money selling drugs" ? When you hear that, do you stop that child and say, "Wait a minute, fool. You don't flip burgers for the rest of your life. You flip them to become the manager of that place. You flip burgers to move from manager to owner of the damn franchise" ?

While I appreciate the valuable suggestions on ways to overcome these hardships, it was very obvious to me while reading this book that the people who need it most would likely (sadly) not be reading. The authors tell parents to stop using the television to babysit their children; they also tell mothers whose children might admit that they are being fondled by an adult not to allow it to continue just because that adult might be helping with rent or bills. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but would the mother who sits her kids in front of the TV and who allows her boyfriend who's paying the rent to fondler her daughter really be sitting down to read this book? I hope that it is able to reach the academics, sociologists, clergy, and teachers ... and also the target audience that really needs it.

96. Shades of Freedom: Racial Politics and Presumptions of the American Legal Process Race and the American Legal Process - A. Leon Higginbotham, Jr.

I was incredibly impressed by this well-researched and well-documented book by Higginbotham, a former Third Circuit judge. He gives a very thorough analysis of the "interaction between the law and racial oppression in America" (from the back of the book - but said so well). The first part of the book explains how perceptions of black inferiority developed, and how they came to influence our society so much. He also discusses the U.S. Constitution's references to slavery; the Supreme Court's sanction of racism in decisions like Plessy v. Ferguson and Dred Scott v. Sanford; and the unequal criminal justice system.
One passage that jumped out to me was from a part in which Higginbotham was discussing Harriet Beecher Stowe's book, Uncle Tom's Cabin:

Those who are oppressed may have the capacity to be brave and noble like everyone else, but the oppression itself is probably not what makes them brave and noble. Those who are oppressed may be in possession of certain absolute and simple truths beyond the knowledge of others, but chief among those truths is that freedom is preferable to oppression. Yet those who insist on seeing beauty in oppression often do so to assuage their guilt for contributing to that oppression. That is why the temptation to find beauty and nobility in suffering and oppression has a long and distinguished history.

Also, from the Dred Scott decision: did you know that Chief Justice Taney made twenty-one references to African Americans as inferior and to whites as dominant or superior? (i.e. African Americans being an "inferior class of beings"; an "unfortunate race"; and "unfit to associate with the white race"). And of course we all know that blacks were unable to serve as witnesses or jurors in court. This especially posed problems where a white man was sued by a black man, or was prosecuted for a crime against a black man, because the black man could not testify; nor could black witnesses. Clearly, this often led to a miscarriage of justice. To imagine a time where such things overtly pervaded our legal system.

And from President Abraham Lincoln:

I am not, nor have I ever been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races .... and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together, there must be the position of superior and inferior, I am as much as any other man in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.

I think a lot of people forget how pervasive these beliefs were, and how they really influenced not only behavior but legislation and jurisprudence!

How humbling to have finished reading this book the same day that I was sworn in as a lawyer.

90. The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

[90 down - 10 to go!!!]
Told from the point of view of Claudia MacTeer, an African American girl growing up in Ohio in the 1930's, this story is mostly about a girl that Claudia's parents take into their home named Pecola Breedlove. Pecola is eleven years old and has a hard life: her parents, Paulina and Cholly, are always fighting, and Cholly is often drunk. Pecola's brother, Sammy, often runs away to get away from the family; Pecola, on the other hand, prays for blue eyes. She believes that if she had blue eyes, her life would be much better and people would stop telling her that she is so ugly.

It had occurred to Pecola some time ago that if her eyes, those eyes that held the pictures, and knew the sights - if those eyes of hers were
different, that is to say, beautiful, she herself would be different .... If she looked different, beautiful, maybe Cholly would be different, and Mrs. Breedlove, too. Maybe they'd say, "Why, look at pretty-eyed Pecola. We mustn't do bad things in front of those pretty eyes" .... Each night, without fail, she prayed for blue eyes. Fervently, for a year, she prayed. Although somewhat discouraged, she was not without hope. To have something as wonderful as that happen would take a long, long time.

Pauline treats the daughter of the wealthy white family (the Fosters) that she works for better than she treats Pecola, her own daughter. The Fosters' daughter has blond curls and blue eyes, and their lifestyle is the closest that Pauline will ever get to having it herself.
Eventually, Pecola goes to live with the MacTeers because Cholly burns down her family's home. Claudia MacTeer and her sister Frieda become friends with Pecola and go through a lot of typical pre-adolescent experiences together (e.g. being fascinated when Pecola is the first to start "ministrating").

It becomes apparent that Cholly, Pecola's father, has a thing for little girls. One day, while Pecola is doing dishes, he rapes her. Morrison's writing is exquisite - and the story is really heart-wrenching.

Following the disintegration - the falling away - of sexual desire, he was conscious of her wet, soapy hands on his wrists, the fingers clenching, but whether her grup was from a hopeless but stubborn struggle to be free, or from some other emotion, he could not tell. Removing himself from her was so painful to him he cut it short and snatched his genitals out of the dry harbor of her vagina. She appeared to have fainted. Cholly stood up and could only see her grayish panties, so sad and limp around her ankles. Again the hatred mixed with tenderness. The hatred would not let him pick her up, the tenderness forced him to cover her. So when the child regained consciousness, she was lying on the kitchen floor under a heavy quilt, trying to connect the pain between her legs with the face of her mother looming over her.

Claudia and Frieda hear that Pecola is pregnant by her father and feel sorry for her. They decide not to sell the marigold seeds they were planning on selling: they plant them and determine that if they bloom, then that would mean that everything would be fine. The seeds do not bloom. The story concludes (from Clauda's point of view):

I talk about how I did not plant the seeds too deeply, how it was the fault of the earth, the land, of our town. I even think now that the land of the entire country was hostile to marigolds that year. This soil is bad for certain kinds of flowers. Certain seeds it will not nurture, certain fruit it will not bear, and when the land kills of its own volition, we acquiesce and say the victim had no right to live.

I'm surprised that two common themes in several well-known works of African American literature I've read recently are child molestation and incest (this, The Color Purple, and Push). Though very sad, this was a great book.

89. Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

This is a beautifully written story about four generations of the Dead family, centered around the main character Macon "Milkman" Dead III. Milkman got his unfortunate nickname because he was breastfed for too long and was, in essence, a "mama's boy." His mother, Ruth Foster Dead, is the daughter of the town's only black doctor. She completely idolizes her father and often makes her husband feel inadequate. (side note - this seems to be a common theme several books I've read recently, including The Color Purple and A Raisin in the Sun. Interesting).

Milkman has a sister, Pilate, who does not have a navel (not sure of the significance of that). Pilate has a daughter, Reba, and Reba has a daughter, Hagar - and Hagar is obsessed with Milkman and tries to kill him several times. Milkman's best friend, Guitar, also tries to kill Milkman when he suspects that Milkman has cheated him out of some gold that Guitar is trying to steal to help fund a group of which he is part. The group is called "Seven Days," and their goal is to commit revenge killings against white people in response to the killings of black people. For example, after the four little girls were killed in the church bombing, they go kill four little white girls to "even out" the killings.

There are a lot of complicated characters and themes in this book, so a brief overview really doesn't do the book justice. But I'll share some of my favorite quotes anyway! Here's one from Guitar, from a conversation he has with Milkman:

And black women, they want your whole self. Love, they call it, and understanding. "Why don’t you understand me?" What they mean is, Don’t love anything on earth except me. They say, "Be responsible," but what they mean is, Don’t go anywhere where I ain’t. You try to climb Mount Everest, they’ll tie up your ropes. Tell them you want to go to the bottom of the sea—just for a look—they’ll hide your oxygen tank .... You blow your lungs out on the horn and they want what breath you got left to hear about how you love them. They want your full attention.

This description of Hagar made me smile (and think it's sad that men really talk like this):

She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it's there, because it can't hurt, and because what difference does it make?

(Isn't that passage, crass as it is, so incredibly poetic?!) Ultimately, Milkman ends up in Virginia searching for the gold, and meets a woman who tells him about his family history. There, he learns about his great grandfather Solomon who was said to have escaped slavery by "flying back to Africa."

I won't spoil the ending for those who haven't read it. I think what makes this book so good (and part of the reason why Toni Morrison won a Nobel Prize for Literature!) is how it's not just well-written - it's almost poetic in some parts. She really draws you into the story. The characters are also complex and certainly grow throughout the book. Definitely a good read - thanks to Jessica for the recommendation, Chris for lending it to me, and of course my mom for introducing me to Toni Morrison's books when I was just four years old :)

84. Between Barack and a Hard Place: Racism and White Denial in the Age of Obama - Tim Wise

In this book, Tim Wise does a great job of analyzing racism and race relations post-Obama's victory as the first black president. He argues that "Racism 1.0," or typical, overt bigotry, has morphed into "Racism 2.0" - the idea that Obama has "transcended race" and that he is "different from regular black people." Wise argues that

White folks may "need" black folks to be Obama-like in style, affect, erudition, and educational background in order to be considered competent or trustworthy ...

... and that ultimately, this hurts African Americans. I was very impressed by Wise's analysis - as a white American, he really seemed to have done his research and to understand a lot of nuances of the issues he discusses. I was nodding emphatically while reading the book when Wise was explaining how Obama is "the Cliff Huxtable of politics" and that he is "attaining the lofty pinnacle of 'Huxtability.'"

Another quote I really like (that's actually from Michael Eric Dyson):

In a sense, if one conceives of racism as a cell phone, then active malice is the ring tone on its highest volume, while passive indifference is the ring tone on vibrate. In either case, whether loudly or silently, the consequence is the same: a call is transmitted, a racial message is communicated.

Wise also argues that many white Americans do not realize how they continue to benefit from a system of "entrenched privileges." While a lot of what he said was not new, I really liked how Wise was able to make his arguments in the context of "post-Obama America." And what a catchy title!

79. Sweet Summer: Growing up with and without My Dad - Bebe Moore Campbell

What a wonderfully written book ... then again, what can I expect from a soror?! :)
This is a beautiful story about Bebe Moore Campbell's life growing up with her divorced parents: her mom who lived in Philly, and her dad (a paraplegic) who lived in North Carolina. As a young girl, Bebe completely idolizes her father even though she's not with him for at least nine months out of the year ... but as she grows up, she comes to see his many flaws. Nonetheless, she still maintains a relationship with him. "My father took care of me. Our separation didn't stunt me or condemn me to a lesser humanity. His absence never made me a fatherless child. I'm not fatherless now."
Even though this book didn't change my perspective on life - which is what would have earned it a spot in my "best non-fiction books" list - it is possibly one of the best-written books I've read, right up there with Malcolm Gladwell's works. Campbell does an exquisite job of capturing the essence of a child's thoughts and expresses them in an adult way, if that makes any sense. Check out this passage:

"I turned around and took a quick look at the front door. Coast was clear. I stuck my wet thumb back in my mouth and covered it with my other hand, just in case Nana or Mommy came outside. My mother was paying me ten cents a day not to suck my thumb and I'd already collected my dime. The rhythmic sucking flooded my body with tranquility for a minute until the urge for even greater pleasure made me bold and I took away my "cover" hand, reached up and started pulling my ear with it. Ahhhh. I hadn't been sucking and pulling for a good ten seconds when a green Buick slowed down as it approached my house. I jerked my hands away from my face, wiped my dripping thumb on the inside of my shorts and stood up, craning my neck to see if the person driving the car was my daddy ..."

How great is that passage?! Definitely a beautiful story about father-daughter relationships, and families in general ... highly recommended.

78. A Raisin in the Sun - Lorraine Hansberry

This is a play written by Lorraine Hansberry in the 1950's. It's about a poor black family living in Chicago - Walter and Ruth, their son Travis, and Walter's mom and sister (Beneatha). Walter is barely making ends meet as a limo driver - so when his mom gets an insurance check in the amount of $10,000, he pressures her into giving him a good chunk of it for him to invest. She puts some down on a new house (in an all-white neighborhood), and gives Walter the rest - making him promise that he save some for his sister's education. Walker ends up making some poor decisions with the money and loses it. The family does get to keep the home, however; and they turn down a neighbor's offer to buy it from them to alleviate some of the racial tension that he believes their move will cause.

George, Beneatha's Nigerian boyfriend, is an interesting character: he seems to think he's a lot better than Walter, especially because he is in medical school, and starts influencing Beneatha in many ways. For example, he tells her that she is assimilating herself into white ways by "mutilating" (straightening) her hair; so she starts wearing traditional African clothing and ends up moving to Nigeria with George.

Like the last book I read, this play has a great but complicated plot that I won't bother fully explaining ... but one of the themes does seem to be about relationships. I love this part:

Ruth: Honey, you never say nothing new. I listen to you every day, every night and every morning, and you never say nothing new. (Shrugging). . So you would rather be Mr. Arnold than be his chauffeur. So -- I would rather be living in Buckingham Palace.

Walter: That is just what is wrong with the colored women in this world... Don't understand nothing about building their men up and and making 'em feel like they somebody. Like they can do something.


Ruth: (Drily, but to hurt): There are colored men who do things.

Walter: No thanks to the colored woman.

Ruth: Well, being a colored woman, I guess I can't help myself none.

I also like this part, when Beneatha lets her hair go natural:

George: Oh, don't be so proud of yourself, Bennie - just because you look eccentric.

Beneatha: How can something that's natural be eccentric?

George: That's what being eccentric means - being natural. Get dressed.

Lastly, a tidbit of info: the name of the play comes from the poem "Harlem," a.k.a. "A Dream Deferred," by Langston Hughes ...

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore-- And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

77. The Color Purple - Alice Walker

I'm embarrassed that I'm just now reading this ... this is such a fabulous novel!

This classic by Alice Walker is told mostly from the point of view of a girl named Celie in the form of diary entries. Celie is raped and impregnated twice by a man she calls Pa (after reading this and Push, I need to find some cheerier fiction!). The children are taken from her, and she ends up marrying a man referred to in the book as "Mr. ____." Mr. ___ has a mistress who goes by Shug Avery, who comes to live with Mr. ___ and Celie. It seems at first that Shug demeans Celie, like Mr. ____ does; but later, Shug and Celie become intimate and Shug helps Celie to discovery her sexuality.

Celie also has a sister, Nettie, who Celie's husband tries to seduce. When he couldn't, he forces Nettie to leave. Celie doesn't hear from Nettie for years, and so she assumes that Nettie is dead; but eventually it comes out through Shug that Mr. ____ was hiding letters from Nettie in a trunk. Nettie had been traveling in Africa with a missionary couple, Sam and Corrine, and their adopted children ... who turn out to be Celie's long-lost children.

The plot is complicated, so I won't go any further into it, but it is such a beautiful story. Maybe it's just my selection of books, but I haven't read much about homosexual relationships in African American literature - so I was surprised at Shug and Celie's relationship. It seems Shug had shallow relationships and Celie had physically and emotionally abusive relationships - so their relationship with each other was really the first time that they both seemed to experience love.

One of my favorite quotes comes from when Nettie is explaining how Corrine has started to think that the adopted children are really Nettie's children, because they look like Nettie - which would mean that Sam had cheated on Corinne with Nettie. In reality, the children look like Nettie because she is their aunt - but of course they don't know that at that point. But Nettie says, "She gets weaker and weaker, and unless she can believe us and start to feel something for her children, I fear we will lose her. Oh, Celie, unbelief is a terrible thing. And so is the hurt we cause others unknowingly."

I also love the part where Celie has left her husband and gone to Memphis with Shug: she has started her own business and is doing really well for herself, and starts off her letter to Nettie with: "Dear Nettie, I am so happy. I got love, I got work, I got money, friends and time!" It's just so powerful in the context of the story because things have finally started looking up for Celie!

Definitely a beautiful classic piece of literature that I would recommend reading! Now I'll definitely have to see the play ...

75. Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston

The main character in this book, Janie Crawford, is a middle-aged black woman who has just returned to Florida after being gone for a while. The people in the town start to gossip about her and try to speculate what happened to her most recent husband, Tea Cake, after he's found dead, and the plot of the majority of the book is framed by the story as Janie relates it to her friend Pheoby ...

Janie's life can be divided up into three time periods, during each of which she was married to three very different men. First: her marriage to Logan is unromantic and uninspired. She then runs away with Joe, who forbids her to associate with "common folk"; Joe's goal seems to be to shape Janie into what he considers to be the perfect wife through both physical and emotional abuse.

"He wanted her submission and he'd keep on fighting until he felt he had it. So gradually, [Janie] pressed her teeth together and learned to hush. The spirit of the marriage left the bedroom and took to living in the parlor. It was there to shake hands whenever company came to visit, but it never went back inside the bedroom again ... The bed was no longer a daisy-field for her and Joe to play in. It was a place where she went and laid down when she was sleepy and tired."

Joe eventually dies, and Janie seems quite relieved at finally achieving her freedom from him. She starts seeing a man who goes by the name of Tea Cake - a man twelve years younger than her. One part in the book that really shocked me is where Janie is discussing her relationship with a neighbor, Mrs. Turner. Mrs. Turner refuses to have a black doctor see her; she also refuses to go into black-owned business because "colored folks don't know nothin' 'bout not business." Even worse:

"Ah ain't got no flat nose and liver lips. Ah'm uh featured woman. Ah got white folks' features in mah face. Still and all Ah got tuh be lumped in wid all de rest. It ain't fair. Even if dey don't take us in wid de whites, dey oughta make us uh class tuh ourselves."

Apparently this extended exchange with Mrs. Turner received a lot of criticism from Harlem Renaissance writers: many said that it "favored" lighter-skinned African Americans, though I didn't see it as such (I agree with some other critics in that it more "exposed" the division between light-skinned and dark-skinned African Americans).

Anyway, at the end of the story, Tea Cake gets bitten by a rabid dog and gradually gets very sick and delusional. I won't spoil the ending, though I will share one of my mom's favorite passages:

"The day of the gun, and the bloody body, and the courthouse came and commenced to sing a sobbing sigh out of every corner in the room; out of each and every chair and thing. Commenced to sing, commenced to sob and sigh, singing and sobbing. Then Tea Cake came prancing around her where she was and the song of the sigh flew out of the window and lit in the top of the pine trees."

My mom pointed out the alliteration in that paragraph ... true, something that I likely would not have picked up on! I really enjoyed reading this book, though it was very hard for me to get into the phonetic spelling of the dialect spoken by all of the characters. I think I finally stopped having to re-read every page maybe a third of a way through the book. But this is definitely a classic piece of American literature that I wouldn't mind re-reading some other time to try to more fully enjoy all of its symbolism and literary devices.

73. My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love, and Forgiveness - Patricia Raybon

How about this for the first page in a book:

"God help me.
I stopped hating white people on purpose about a year ago. I didn't tell anybody. I couldn't. If I did, I would have to explain how I started hating in the first place. And I really didn't know then myself.
I just hated."

In this very heartfelt book that is part memoir, part social commentary, and part self-help, Raybon explains how she found herself hating white people for years. Eventually, she decides to trace her journey from "rage and racial reasoning" and starts trying to practice forgiveness. She realizes that she would first have to hunt out the flaws in herself; and in the words of the gospel, realize that "It's me, it's me, it's me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer. Not my brother, not my sister, but it's me, O Lord, standing in the need of prayer."

Part of what I loved so much about this book was the author's candor - she incredibly real. She really draws the reader into feeling her anger and her pain - whether it's from the perspective of sympathy or empathy. From one part:

"'Tell me I'm OK. Befriend me, hire me, admire me, give me a good table at your restaurant, sell me a house in your neighborhood, talk to me, listen to me, look at me, love me.' But white people can't satisfy all these needs - because nobody externally can possibly fill up somebody else's internal longings. That inability, of white folks to satisfy my emotional needs, has been part of my disappointment with white people. I hated them, indeed, for not filling me up."

I also really liked this book because it followed how the author went from feeling such anger to achieving forgiveness. That is of course a skill that is useful in any context, not just racial forgiveness.
Thank you to my dear line sister Andrea for this great recommendation :)

67. Push - Sapphire

This incredibly sad and moving book was the basis for Tyler Perry's most recent movie, Precious. The story is about Claireece Precious Jones: an obese, illiterate, dark-skinned, HIV positive teenager in Harlem - who had a daughter at twelve by her sexually abusive father, and who was pregnant again with another one of his children by the age of sixteen. It's impossible to read this book and not be overwhelmed with emotion for this poor girl. From one passage, where Precious was describing her life not long after the birth of her first child who has Down Syndrome:

"Sometimes I wish I was not alive. But I don't know how to die. Ain' no plug to pull out. 'N no matter how hard I feel my heart don't stop beating and my eyes open in the morning. I hardly have not seen my daughter since she was a little baby. I never stick my bresses in her mouth. My muver say what for? It's outta style ... She say I never do you. What that child of yours need tittie for? She retarded. Mongoloid. Down Sinder."

She actually called the baby "Little Mongo" throughout the book ... I was hoping that was some awful nickname that she gave the baby, but no other name was ever shared. From another passage, talking about her son ...

"When he grow up he gonna laff big black girls? He gon' laff at dark skin like he got? One thing I say about Farrakhan and Alice Walker they help me like being black. I wish I wasn't fat but I am. Maybe one day I like that too, who knows."

The author certainly doesn't hold back: some parts were incredibly, incredibly ... raw. I was shocked. Other parts aren't as explicit but make you want to cry:

"I always thought I was someone different on the inside. That I was just fat and black and ugly to people on the OUTSIDE. And if they could see inside me they would see something lovely and not keep laughing at me, throwing spitballs (shit one time nigger at school just spit on me when I was pregnant) and polly seed shells at me, that Mama and Daddy would recognize me as ... as, I don't know, Precious!"

Definitely one of those books that leaves you feeling very emotionally drained; but thankfully, the ending does leave the reader with hope.

56. Forced Into Glory: Abraham Lincoln's White Dream - Lerone Bennett, Jr.

With such a fascinating and "charged" title, this must be a great book ... right? Not entirely ...
Bennett makes the argument that Lincoln is not "the great emancipator" as many have made him out to be. Rather, "history - the movement and orchestration of the dominant forces of the age - freed the slaves." Many of the premises of this book, I'd heard before: the Emancipation Proclamation didn't really free the slaves because the act "did not itself free a single negro," and it "carefully, deliberately, studiously excluded all Negroes within 'our military reach'" ... and of course, the Confederate States were not within the Union's "military reach" during the Civil War.
Although the book is very well-researched, and Bennett cites a lot of seemingly reputable sources, his own commentary gets a bit distracting. For example, he continuously argues that Lincoln was a racist, in part because of his use of the word "n----r." Although that is of course a horrible and hateful word, I think it's important to note the context. It's a lot worse now than it was back in the mid-1800's. If, according to the United States Constitution, a black person was only considered 3/5 of a person ... are they really going to have ground to argue against the use of the n-word? (who knew that the three-fifths compromise was still in the Constitution, even though it's been superseded - Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3. What a reminder.) Anyway, if Bennett made that point once, or even twice over the course of the 600-page book, that'd be fine - but he seemed to bring it up at least five times in each chapter.
Additionally, Bennett makes a compelling argument that Lincoln wanted blacks to return to Africa rather than staying in America. This would be a fine point to make in support of his argument ... though I do think that a president saying that in the 21st or even the 20th century would be a lot different than a president saying that in the 19th century. But then Bennett distracts from his point with phrases like this: "If Lincoln had had his way, there would be no Blacks in America. None. Harlem would be a white way, the South Sides would be pale sides and there would be a deafening silence and holes the size of the Grand Canyon where Bojangles and Louis and Duke and Martin Luther King and Michael Jordan and Toni Morrison would be."
An interesting premise behind this book, but 1) the author's rants were distracting, and 2) it was waaaay too long! If you're going to read it, check out the table of contents and just pick the chapters that you think will interest you the most :)

52. The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships - Hill Harper

I was a bit apprehensive before reading this book. "Hill Harper is single - so what gives him the authority to write this?" But he in no way comes off as a know-it-all about relationships. Really, he comes off as part of "the conversation," too - learning along with his readers.

The premise behind this book is that the lack of communication between black men and women is threatening the relationships that are necessary to sustain the black family. Harper discusses a wide range of issues - finances, sex, what men want, what women want, interracial relationships, etc. - in his analysis of why only 30% of black children are being raised in two-parent households and why not enough black couples are able to hold a marriage together.

This books has elements of advice (some parts reminded me of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, but ... well, more Hill Harper and less Steve Harvey) and stories about Harper's own life ... but it's unique in the way Harper intertwines lessons that he's learned from conversations with people in his life (married/single/divorced).

Here's one part that I found particularly interesting in a passage about how finances often cause the most arguments in relationships:

"As a group, Blacks are the largest debtors in the world. Living with debt hanging over out heads causes stress. That stress affects our moods, our quality of life, and our ability to connect with others ... We as a people have indebtgestion even though we are earning more money than we ever have before. Part of the problem is that we are running through our credit at alarming rates, and the resulting debt is affecting our relationships. This indebtgestion may be the true cause of why the Black family is ill."

This was a wonderful book; to my knowledge, his first that is geared towards adults.

51. Letters to a Young Sister: DeFINE Your Destiny - Hill Harper

This is a great book by the beautiful Hill Harper (CSI: NY; Get on the Bus ... Brown University; Harvard Law with Obama; etc.). Written in the style of letters to a teenage girl going through all sorts of typical teenage issues, Harper offers advice on topics such as relationships, family, men, racism, sexism, self-empowerment, career choices, faith, and service. At the end of each chapter are questions posed via email, answered by famous women including Michelle Obama, Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, Nikki Giovanni, Ruby Dee, and Ciara.

One thing Harper said that I really like was about the "high-tech/low-touch society" we are living in.

"Because so many of us are using technology ... to communicate rather than being face-to-face, it allows us men to lie much more easily. Attempting to have a serious, real conversation with someone using technology is not the way to do it. You can't look them in the eye, see their expression or their body language, or all those other things that allow your intuition to get a feel for whether what you're hearing is the truth or a lie."

I do feel that this book is more suited for a younger audience, i.e. adolescents, maybe college students. For example, an email asks, "Hill, a lot of my friends and people on TV say that boys are liars, boys are jerks ... What do you think I should look for in a boy?" Nonetheless, grown women can definitely benefit from and be reminded of these lessons, too. And reading this book made it an easy choice for what I'll get my cousin who just started high school, and her slightly older brother, for Christmas! (Harper also wrote Letters to a Young Brother).

The next book I plan on reading is Harper's newest book, The Conversation: How Black Men and Black Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships. I'm sure that one is geared a little more towards my age group, and am looking forward to it!

(Oh - and how many people knew that his full name is Francis Hill Harper? That's okay. I'd still marry him.)

48. Nigger: The Strange Career of a Troublesome Word - Randall Kennedy

I know - what a loaded title! I refuse to use that word, so it's hard for me to talk about this book ... as much as I want to, because it was a fantastic one.

Written by Harvard law professor Randall Kennedy, this book is about so much more than just the history of the word. Kennedy discusses the use of the word in its many contexts in this country. One example: after Paul Robeson got his degree from Columbia Law School, he quit his job at a firm because the stenographer said that she "refused to take dictation from a nigger." Kennedy also discusses the use of the word in literature (i.e. the passage I quoted in my review of The Autobiography of Malcolm X); rap music; the O.J. Simpson trial; and, most interesting to me, in the legal context. Kennedy gives an overview of how the "n-word" has played a role in sometimes mitigating homicides from murder to manslaughter; and also, though rarely, as a basis for an IIED claim (intentional infliction of emotional distress).

I was impressed at Kennedy's obvious intelligence and at his ability to write in a way that was very readable (even while dealing with the legal stuff). I also didn't feel that he was writing with a goal to either persuade black people to stop using the word or to encourage its reclamation - just a well-researched and interesting work.

38. The Autobiography of Malcolm X - As Told to Alex Haley

Possibly one of the greatest books of all time.
Most people know the general story of Malcolm X - his upbringing in Michigan; his experiences as a young adult in Boston; the years he spent in prison where he first learned about Islam; his activism with the Nation of Islam; and, towards the end of his life, his travels to Mecca and Africa. But there is so much depth in the stories told and the lessons learned ... and certain passages (which I will discuss later) really affected me, given where I am in my life right now.
Alex Haley did an amazing job of really transporting the reader into Malcolm's thoughts and emotions. While there were hints of foreshadowing (i.e. when talking about Elijah Muhammad, he mentioned once "little did I know how things would change") ... I felt incredibly absorbed in and swept up by reading about each segment of Malcolm's life. I definitely had my emotional moments throughout the whole book, but it was the last chapter that really got to me. One of my favorite passages:

"I believe that it would be almost impossible to find anywhere in America a black man who has lived further down in the mud of human society than I have; or a black man who has been any more ignorant than I have; or a black man who has suffered more anguish during his life than I have. But it is only after the deepest darkness that the greatest joy can come; it is only after slavery and prison that the sweetest appreciation of freedom can come."

Given where I am in my life, it was incredibly humbling to read about when Malcolm was in 8th grade and told his teacher that he was thinking about becoming a lawyer.

"Mr. Ostrowski looked surprised, I remember, and leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head. He kind of half-smiled and said, 'Malcolm, one of life's first needs is for us to be realistic. Don't misunderstand me now. We all here like you, you know that. But you've got to be realistic about being a nigger. A lawyer - that's no realistic goal for a nigger.'"
Then later, after Malcolm returns from his trip to Mecca and Africa:

"My greatest lack has been, I believe, that I don’t have the kind of academic education I wish I had been able to get – to have been a lawyer, perhaps. I do believe that I might have made a good lawyer. I have always loved verbal battle, and challenge ... [and] I don't begin to be academically equipped for so many of the interests that I have. For instance, I love languages. I wish I were an accomplished linguist. I don't know anything more frustrating than to be around people talking something you can't understand."

Here I am, days away from achieving my childhood dream of becoming a lawyer; and trilingual. Words can't express how humbling it is to read about what Malcolm X dreamed of achieving, but never could. Reading this book really made me more aware of and appreciate the opportunities that have been afforded to me ... and reminded me that there is so much more that I could be doing to help others achieve their dreams.

Another interesting passage: "I'm speaking from personal experience when I say of any black man who conks today, or any white-wigged black woman, that if they gave the brains in their heads just half as much attention as they do their hair, they would be a thousand times better off."

Beyonce ... need I say more?? Wigs, weaves, relaxers ... Jihan recently told me that the chemical used in relaxers is the same chemical used in Drain-O (it's used to break the bonds in the hair, thus straightening it). Are we in a worse position than we were in 50 years ago, with commercials for "Urban Beauty" and "Virgin Remy Indian Hair" weave coming on prime time TV in Atlanta?!?!

I'm thrilled that I got to see the original of Malcolm X's diary at the America I Am exhibit ... what a remarkable piece of history. This book is a must-read for everyone.

The Miseducation of the Negro - Carter G. Woodson

This was a fascinating book to read more than 70 years after it was written. There were some passages that were sadly still so accurate ... yet others that I'd at least like to think are no longer true. For example, from the chapter entitled "Political Education Neglected":

"The undesirable aspect of the affair is that the Negro ... is never brought into the inner circle of the party with which he is affiliated. He is always kept on the outside and is used as a means to an end."

Tupac Shakur said something similar more than 60 years later when he recorded his song "Changes" - "And although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready to see a black president ..." Has President Obama changed all this? Or, even if he's brought into the "inner circle" - is he still being used as a "means to an end"?

Another interesting passage from Woodson:

The New Negro in politics, moreover, must not be a politician. He must be a man. He must try to give the world something rather than extract something from it. The world, as he should see it, does not owe him anything[.]"

Is Barack Obama this "New Negro"? Woodson also talks a lot about how the "educated Negroes have been taught facts of history, but have never learned to think;" and how they have completely lost touch with the general black community ("After having this honor conferred upon them, these so-called scholars often rest on their oars.").

This was a fabulous (and very deep) book. It would have been great to read and discuss over coffee at Borders ... but since I'm already on to book #38, feel free to post a comment instead ...